Anthropomorphic animals in comics can’t catch a break. After brief ‘funny animal’ fads in the 50s and 80s, they’ve been relegated to being the butt of jokes, or bumped out of comic series completely. But in this list, let’s look at which fantastical furry heroes reign supreme at the top of the food chain.

7. Rocket Raccoon vs. Bucky O’Hare

Rocket Raccoon is a brilliant military strategist, who is a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy. He is also OCD, placed in charge of an abandoned loony bin, and his best friend is a walrus called Wal Russ. Geddit? Geddit? *slaps knee in mirth* But seriously, he’s tight with Star-Lord, so he’s got some pretty cool cred.

Bucky O’Hare, meanwhile, is the leader of a bunch of renegade mammals who make up the United Animals Federation, who do battle against the evil Toad Empire. He has a crush on Jenny, a cat from the planet Aldeberan. Other than a precocious human brat called Willy, his other crew includes Blinky and Deadeye Duck, who both have an eye missing.

… Seriously, what is with that?

Who Wins: Rocket. Okay, so Bucky’s ship has a pretty cool name, The Righteous Indignation, which is something that I can picture as a) a line from a Philip Roth novel or b) the title of Kanye West’s next album. But other than that, he’s just a rip-off of Han Solo. Hare Solo, y’know? And even though Rocket Raccoon prances about in pantaloons, he’s gonna win this battle, simply because he’s in better hands. The Avengers is hot property, and The Guardians of the Galaxy are going to get the ritzy treatment now that Marvel is dominating the box office.

Poor Bucky, however, is in the hands of a certain scriptwriter known as Neal Adams. If Batman: Odyssey is anything to go by, Adams has lost the plot, and Bucky O’Hare can look forward to fighting huge bees and talking at length about coffee machines on the silver screen.

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This article was first posted on September 21, 2012