Don’t we all think to ourselves every so often, “Wouldn’t it just be awesome to live in a movie world?” You’d get to be a kick-ass action hero, get the girl (or boy), and basically live a far more eventful life than you probably do now. However, that’s a pretty narrow-minded view of the realities of living in a movie; it’s much more likely that you’d end up on the other end of the predicament – after all, how many supporting characters are there for every awesome protagonist?
Even then, there’s likely to be an unexpected wake-up call when you consider how movie worlds actually work. While it’s nothing like our own, boring existence, that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing for your sanity in the long run.
Here are 10 crazy ways living in a movie would ruin your life…
10. Exposition Explains Everything You Need To Know (And Gives You Too Much Free Time)
Movies rely on exposition to push the plot forward and basically keep the viewer (and the characters) informed of what’s going on. It’s one of the most basic cinematic storytelling devices that is sometimes carefully cossetted into the script, and in other instances shamelessly thrown in out of necessity (see: Inception’s hilariously unsubtle expository dialogues). In a movie world, of course, this would mean that whenever something around you is unclear, someone around you will readily explain what it all means and its function within the world.
Compared to our more closed-off, mysterious world, this might sound like a Godsend, but I guarantee that in the long run, having all the answers you crave would probably drive you crazy. For one thing, the amount of free time you’d have not fretting about the unknown and trying to get to the bottom of things would leave you desperately scrambling for things to do. Dialogues would be short and to the point, and so you’d probably be able to comfortably work your way through every book, movie and video game you’ve ever wanted to devour for the rest of your life. The rest of the time would be spent twiddling your thumbs and wishing people weren’t so quick-tongued after all.
This article was first posted on April 16, 2013