In a perfect world, every action movie would be Die Hard. However, since youre more likely to get Olympus Has Fallen, the genre's hype machine always goes into overdrive in an attempt to sucker in unsuspecting viewers. Even if you dont buy the tenuous connections in the trailer ("From the producers of Die Hard 4.0"), or the nonsensical idea of having a famous name present a movie, there are still ways of reeling in the unwary. Not that Hollywood would ever condone the practice of posting fake reviews, but check out all the glowing notices John Carter received on IMDb after its L.A. premiere. A week before Disneys $250 million epic fail opened in American multiplexes, it was being hailed as a must see by would-be viewers who called it lean and compact and complex and nuanced. Somewhat less impressed was USA Todays critic, who called it bloated, dreary and humourless, while San Francisco Chronicle preferred to be more succinct: John Carter is a dud. If even salaried critics were disappointed, you can imagine how paying audiences mustve felt while watching the film or, for that matter, any of the following.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
