Horror films are usually so full of dumb people that they’re
practically a prerequisite. We’ve all sat down to watch a scary movie and found
ourselves screaming at the screen when some idiot with a common sense bypass goes
down into the basement when they should be running out the door or decides to
split from their group after uttering the immortal words ‘I’ll be right back’ when
a maniac killer is on the loose.
But the thing about horror movies is that they kind of rely on
idiots to propel the plot. If they didn’t have imbeciles making bad decisions, we
wouldn’t get to witness the grim and gruesome situations they find themselves
in. In other words, if horror films were populated by real-life people with
logical thought processes and sound judgement they’d be over before they’d even
It’s not too much of an exaggeration then to say that
without dumb protagonists in horror movies, we wouldn’t actually have horror
movies. They’re as essential an ingredient to the horror film as the big bad
villain or the final girl.
So, some stupidity is to be expected but certain acts of
sheer idiocy in horror films defy all logic no matter how hard you try to
suspend your disbelief. Some horror protagonists make decisions so utterly brainless
that you can’t help but wonder if they’ve got a death wish.
Here’s to those characters – the dumbest of the dumb in the horror
genre – in all their idiotic glory.