9. The Notebook
In
The Notebook. Noah falls in love with Allie, and then when Allie gets Alzheimers, he re-tells the story about how their romance blossomed, helping Allie remember, even if its just a few hours. Totes adorbs, I believe the youngins say. But, like the aforementioned
Dumb and Dumber, this apparently 'cute' story has some pretty creepy undertones. Noah basically coerces Allie into dating him in the first place by
endangering her life on a ferris wheel; likes to lie in the middle of the road, traffic be damned; and then when hes building Allies dream home, goes kind of nuts and scares away anybody who may interfere with it, or his relationship with Allie. In the horror version, Noahs not just kind of nuts. Nope, Noahs as nutty as triple layer Nutella n' squirrel s**t sandwich. He wants to be with Allie
because he wants to slice off her skin and wear it as a suit. Yeah, that dream house? Noah only built it so that he could capture Allie and keep her in a well, taunting her whilst holding a yapping Pomeranian. If youre a bird, Im a bird. HA! NOT! NOW PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET! The perfect tagline for the movie?
Hey girl. It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it upsets the Gos.