Hollywood: mother, teacher, secret lover. Every time we take a seat in the cinema and point our faces at the colourful pictures and marvel at the explosions and people pretending to be other people, we’re learning something. Frames are full of revelations, and no matter how aware we are of the fiction caveat that comes with movies (even the ones that pretend to be based on a real life story) we’re picking up “facts” by the process of cinematic osmosis.
That might be as simple a revelation as Al Pacino not being able to act anymore, or Michael Bay movies being a crime against artistic integrity, but the learning exchange is always in effect. But unfortunately, Hollywood is also a beast made of lies – the truth is invariably less exciting than fiction, and changing the laws of physics, or ignoring science entirely often results in a better shot, regardless of the impact that might have on the more suggetible members of the audience.
And no amount of “Don’t Try This At Home” disclaimers are going to work: after all, who ever achieved anything by not trying dangerous stuff at home?
This article then, is aimed at debunking certain potentially fatal lessons – mostly from action movies – that should be ignored if ever you find yourself hunted by rampaging villains, or on a rogue mission to save your family from nasties.
Take heed, because Hollywood is trying to kill you…
Airport Security Are Just Joking About How Serious They Are…
- The Main Offender: Love Actually
Okay, so it might not actually get you killed, unless you’re in one of those “less friendly” countries with different values on when shooting is okay, but ignoring this will probably get you locked up at best, and permanently disappeared at worst.
So, no matter how hard you’re crushing on a wonkily accented American schoolmate, who may be leaving your life forever, there’s very little sense in trying to jump barriers or dodge security, because they’re definitely not going to be as cuddly and inept as when they’re created by Richard Curtis.
This article was first posted on August 29, 2013