Deep down in the far reaches of our very human essence, we all pray for a happy ending. Well, that’s probably a slight over-exaggeration, but we all love a happy ending, don’t we? Sure, leaving the movie theatre feeling drained and shocked has its good points, too, but there’s no feeling quite matched by that of catching a flick that makes you feel all warm and gooey inside.
And in the case of most “happy endings,” the plot has been resolved and the characters safely returned to their former lives. From now on, things are gonna be allllriiiighhtt. Well, except in the movies we’ve assembled here, all of which cluelessly brandish faux-happy endings in preference of avoiding the bigger picture. Here’s 10 movies you finished watching with a smile, only to have missed out on some seriously horrific consequences implied by their (ahem) “happy” endings…
10. Um, What Happens When Bonnie Grows Up? – Toy Story 3 (2010)
Despite being a series of animated films about a bunch of plastic playthings that come to life and go on adventures, the Toy Story franchise is crammed to the brim with heartfelt moments and some seriously affecting scenes on the nature of growing up, loss and friendship. It also has a soundtrack by Randy Newman, which is positively rockin’.
Over the course of the trilogy, Woody and company are constantly plagued with the fact that Andy, their owner, will grow up, get bored of toys, and abandon them. He eventually does this, though not in a nasty way or anything – the guy is eighteen. He’s not gonna play with toys. He’s off to college to get laid and get drunk. Which we completely understand, ‘less this becomes a bizarre franchise about a grown-up who still plays with a piggy bank and Mr. Potato Head.
At the end of Toy Story 3, Andy, instead, passes his wonderful collection of toys onto a cute little girl called Bonnie. She’s like, four years old or something, so, yes, Woody and Buzz and the gang have got a good eight or nine more years loving life with their new owner. But Bonnie, like Andy, will grow up. And then what? She might become a teen tearaway or something, and throw her toys out. Which is fine, ’cause these toys can handle anything, but are they doomed to repeat such a vicious cycle forever and forever?
The likelihood is that their relationship with Bonnie is just as non-permanent as it was with Andy. And unless another Bonnie comes along at the exact right time, the Toy Story crew are destined for a life of abandonment and suffering on an endless loop. What about the Daycare Centre, you say? There’s always the Daycare Centre! Well, sure, that’s one possibility, but what are the odds that it’ll still be there in ten years or so? We’ll have robots to look after our kids then. Probably.
This article was first posted on March 4, 2013