1. Peter, Michael, and Samir vs. Printer (Office Space)
It’s a printer. What more do you want?
It’s a clunky piece of machinery that is the absolute bane of Michael Bolton, Peter Gibbons, and Samir Nagheenanajar’s existence. We as mankind are capable of walking on the moon, swimming underwater with the greatest of threats, and yet we can’t get a printer to cooperate with us. Who hasn’t been in this situation where you need to remind yourself that you are smarter than the inanimate object? Who hasn’t wanted to take that inanimate object and give it the thrashing of a life time while our beloved Geto Boys cheer the anthem of “Die Motherfucker Die” somewhere in the background? Think about that thing: the office’s coffee machine, the flaky wi-fi service, the iphone that keeps forcing you to reset your password even though you’ve reset it five times already. Get angry, let the hate flow through you, because now maybe you can begin to see and begin to heal.
Michael Bolton is the hero inside all of us, kicking, stomping, crushing, smashing, and dancing on the ashes of that damn printer. It’s a piece of machine, you may say so smug, what does it matter if it works or not? That’s not the Michael Bolton way of thinking, that’s the sound of someone denying that machines are evil and that if we don’t stop them now they will soon be able to side-step our baseball bats and crush us like we want to crush them. Don’t be a denier, be a Bolton.
This article was first posted on June 28, 2013