10 Most Horrible James Bond Henchman Deaths

007 takes his licence to kill very seriously sometimes...

Licence To Kill Decompression Anthony Zerbe Milton Krest James Bond
MGM/UA

There’s a fine line between Star Trek’s infamous “redshirts” and lesser henchmen in James Bond films. While both are almost guaranteed to bite the dust almost immediately, there’s one important distinction between two of the most hazardous onscreen occupations.

On top of having to endure some gruesome and/or hilarious end, those of the latter group are usually forced to endure the indignity of having a crack made at their expense even as they shuffle off this mortal coil, courtesy of 007.

Speaking ill of the dead certainly isn’t frowned upon in Bond’s world.

Of course, in keeping with their roles as cannon fodder across 24 official films, Bond henchmen have suffered a greater variety of mishaps and catastrophes than Wile E. Coyote. After all, there’s only so many times a Walther PPK will suffice.

And yet, owing to the nature of the bloody business they’re in, sometimes the instigators of their colourful demises are none other than the megalomaniacal masters signing their paycheques. On top of making 007’s job that much easier, this also adds to the litany of cruel, sticky deaths available to rank, review and remember with a grimace.

Here are the ten messiest, or, generally least desirable.

10. Unlucky Guard (Licence To Kill, 1989)

Licence To Kill Decompression Anthony Zerbe Milton Krest James Bond
Eon

This wasn’t in the job description.

Doubtless, this poor fellow probably took the post of nightwatchman for Milton Krest’s marine research centre with optimism.

He’d spend his evenings leisurely patrolling the sleepy facility, sipping coffee… occasionally keeping an eye on those caches of cocaine for the higher-ups hidden amongst the maggot trays. He’d probably barely even need to use the machine gun strapped around his shoulders.

James Bond had other ideas, however.

When snooping around the facility, Bond is discovered by the loyal watchman, who does his utmost to protect the helpless fishes (as well as the drugs). Never one not to make the most of his surroundings, 007 uses a hook to yank the guard into a tank of electric eels, who promptly zap the chap to death.

He wasn’t the first Bond henchman to die from electrocution, but he was the first to have it done by a bunch of slimy, squirmy water worms. Just think, he was probably only a few hours away from clocking out…

Given the circumstances, it’s a wonder Bond didn’t take the opportunity to crack a one-liner. Something like… “shocking, positively shocking”… oh wait, that one’s taken.

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Chest thumping James Bond and Haruki Murakami fanatic living in China. Once had a fever dream about riding a rowboat with Davos Seaworth. He hasn't updated this section since Game of Thrones was cool, and boy does it show.