Roger Ebert famously said that there was nothing worse than a boring movie. Of all the crimes that a movie could possibly commit, that was the big one – I’d have to agree with him. Feeling bored is one of the most frustrating feelings attributed to human beings in general, and paying actual money to have that feeling placed upon you… well, you know exactly how that feels. Even if a movie is downright terrible and you can’t believe that somebody has actually created it, if you find yourself entertained in any way by its God-awfulness, it’s actually kind of forgivable.
So all those “terrible” teen slashers that you secretly enjoy watching, or those mindless blockbusters that exist in the Michael Bay mould purely to play to your adolescent fantasies? If you’re not bored whilst watching ‘em, they all pass the test in my book. But a movie where you’re actively checking your watch so you can turn away from the screen and do something else for a couple of seconds? That’s a fail, I’m afraid. This is made worse when the movie you’re watching consists of ingredients that look to have been assembled for the purpose of not being boring.
So join me as I take a look at 10 movies that really, really, really should not have been boring for a single second, given the nature of the stories, the budgets, and the filmmakers and actors involved, and yet – somehow – they still totally and utterly were. Oops.
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