Yeesh, women. Am I right, guys? So complex! They way they move, behave, the words they speak with all that secret subtext. It used to be my head would spin any time I tried interacting with them. I felt like a blind man twisting away at a Rubick’s Cube. And that’s not even talking about attempting any sort of dating scenario. I always thought, if I can’t talk to them normally, how can I ever hope to crack the code and get a little companionship?
For a long time, all hope was lost. I was an inch away from taking a vow of celibacy, just so I could pretend that I had chosen my solitude, and not vice versa. But then I stumbled upon the most feminine medium in the existence of storytelling: the romantic comedy (specifically All About Steve, a clever pun on the vastly inferior Bette Davis movie All About Eve). Watching a blonde haired red-booted Sandra Bullock cavort and fall into holes struck me as immensely authentic. These films can teach, thought I. Through hijinks and realistic characterization, romantic comedies were going to show me how to at long last obtain women.
Fast-forward two years, and my little black book is bursting. I contracted three moderate venereal diseases, and in December I shall be married. Now I’m going to share these tactics with you. Come, learn about these 10 romantic comedies that will teach you how to interact with women, thereby ensnaring the girl of your dreams.
This article was first posted on August 1, 2013