10 Sequels 2013 Just Doesn’t Need

Ah, sequels. Hollywood’s main source of income it seems. If you read my last two articles then you know I…

Matthew Murray

Contributor

The Hangover Part III

Ah, sequels. Hollywood’s main source of income it seems. If you read my last two articles then you know I have a distaste for them. It’s not that I don’t enjoy a good sequel. The problem is that I get sick of seeing ads for so many terrible ones. The rehashed plots and recycled jokes that fill these ads remind me that there are people out there dumb enough to see the same movie twice. It’s a sad day when a writer can be paid to change the font on his last successful script.

There are plenty of awesome sequels on the horizon. Movies that are actually advancing their storylines. Iron Man 3 is the most recent and popular example. It took the character to brand new places and expanded on the universe its franchise occupies. But this list is dedicated to a different kind of beast. The kind of sequel that rehashes the exact same formula that got it green-lit and changes nothing at all. This list is a little warning guide for you the reader.

I want to tell you about a few films that are probably going to be inducing cringes in cinemas very soon. Some have already passed us by. These offenders were clearly made for the sole reason of making profit. They will likely offer nothing new to us and be forgotten as soon as they leave cinemas.

I imagine the pitch for them was something like this:

1. Take original script

2. Change location

3. ???

4. Profit

Without further ado, here they are.

 

10. 300: Rise of an Empire

300 sequel

Before you all attack me, I know it’s a prequel. That doesn’t change the fact that it stinks of the same issue. The ship has long since sailed for the 300 franchise. I’m glad to say that the “this is Sparta” jokes have long since passed us by.

The original 300 set us up nicely for a potential sequel dealing with the Battle of Plataea. For various reasons a continuation of the story never happened…until now. The producers have decided that the perfect thing to do would be to scrap any coverage of the Battle of Plataea and, instead, show us the origins story we weren’t asking for. This tells me that the producers wanted to back away from an increase in budget and capitalise on the film’s hype as much as possible by saving money for advertising.

This prequel comes it at number ten on this list because I am willing to admit there is potential in it. A screenplay by Zack Snyder could be hit or miss, but at least he’s showing faith in the idea. The less interesting cast makes me wary but a rumoured Gerard Butler cameo makes me think this film could surprise us.

Just don’t count on it.