10 Simple Tips To Instantly Improve Your Screenplay

10. Don't Over-Describe Your Characters

henry fonda once upon a time in the west 2

This is a tip I picked up from a few novel-based writing courses, though I've found that it applies itself equally as well to the screenwriting craft. I stumble upon speculative scripts all the time that spend entire paragraphs outlining the exact appearance of every character in intricate detail - sometimes in the kind of detail you wouldn't notice even if you found yourself standing nose to nose with said character in real life. That's to say, an abundance of description is boring to read and restrictive (on the imagination of your reader, I mean). Notice when you're reading a novel how much better it is if you're given a vague amount of information about a character's appearance, and your imagination is left to do the rest of the work. Actions speak louder than words, after all, so give your characters room to make an impression based on what they do. Take this description, for example:
JACK enters the saloon - he's dressed in a long, filthy duster jacket. He's well over 6ft tall, his face covered in four day's worth of stubble and tainted with years of experience. His cowboy hat is tipped slightly over his forehead, covering his eyes and creating an air of instant mystery. Under his jacket, a shiny metallic star can be glimpsed, pinned clumsily to his shirt. His teeth are yellow and rotten. An intimidating character, if ever there was one.
It's just too much. We get way too much detail about this character, even if it seems like essential stuff. It happens easily, of course, because you want to make sure that whoever's reading your script gets exactly the kind of person you're writing about. But if we ease up on the description somewhat and let Jack do something as he enters which helps to define his character instead of all the description, we're on the right track. For example:
JACK enters the saloon. He's a giant compared to the rest of the patrons, clad in a duster jacket and tipped cowboy hat. He surveys the saloon without saying a word. Then he spits a huge, brown mess of chewed tobacco onto the floorboards from between two rows of yellowing teeth.
We've got exactly the same impression of Jack without over-describing the guy. The fact that he spits tobacco onto the floor as he walks lets us know he's an "intimidating character" without spelling it out (and also gives us an avenue to mention the state of his teeth). Also saying that he's a giant is more interesting than writing down his actual height - it gets the imagination working. If possible, then, go back and dilute moments like this throughout your entire screenplay, and let actions speaker louder than overwrought descriptions.
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