10 Upcoming Netflix Movies That Are Probably Going To Suck

To stream or not to stream? That is the question.

Bright Will Smith
Netflix

To date, Netflix's original movie output has been a mixed bag.

On the one hand, we've been gifted with great films such as Beasts of No Nation, which gave us one of Idris Elba's best performances ever, and Okja, which is just about the weirdest blockbuster to have emerged in recent years (in a good way).

But something about the Netflix filmmaking model feels a bit off. Why do the company's original TV shows end up being so much better than their original movies? The majority of Netflix's film-based output feels lacking or half-baked, after all. Movies often suffer from a lack of polish, as though they needed more pre-production and development in order to reach their full potential.

This might be because lots of Netflix's original film content is made quickly, on the cheap, and also because films are released having avoided the kind of studio interference and meddling that's seemingly so common in Hollywood. Is this proving a good way to work, though, when the end products are frequently second-rate?

You be the judge. The following 10 movies are scheduled for release on the platform within the next year or so, and they all look or sound pretty bad - either due to questionable trailers, baffling plot synopses, or the associated cast and crew...

10. Eggplant Emoji

Bright Will Smith
Netflix

Release Date: 2018

Eggplant Emoji has to be the worst movie title in recent memory, and it might just cling to the worst movie concept you've ever heard, too. Check this out:

“When a teenager accidentally cuts off his penis during a camping trip, he and his friends rush to save the appendage before it’s too late."

That's the real plot for an actual film that human beings are developing. Oh, boy!

Produced by none other than comedy legend Ben Stiller, who is clearly out of ideas, Eggplant Emoji is directed by Jake Szymanski, best known for his work over at comedy website Funny or Die, with a yet to be announced cast. It isn't a sequel to The Emoji Movie, thank Christ, but it still sounds horrid.

Now, there's a slight chance - and that really is slight - that Eggplant Emoji could turn out to be one of those awful-sounding films that should never have worked but somehow manages to be brilliant, like 21 Jump Street. But really this looks like a disaster waiting to happen, even if the far out plot is sure to have people frantically streaming it on release day with hopes of getting a glimpse of a severed penis.

Contributor

Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.