10 Ways To Make Star Trek V: The Final Frontier Not Suck

10. Define Sybok And His Powers

What Every One Wanted To Do To Shatner After Seeing This Movie OK. I've waited until now to reveal my secret shame. I love this movie. Look, I know what this movie is. No delusions. I was ten when it came out, and I begged my parents to take me to the first showing they could (*), and I loved every minute of it. And I still love it - because, hey, it's Star Trek. But good gravy, is it a mess of half-baked ideas. Since the movie opens with Sybok, let's start there. What Vulcan clown college did Sybok attend to get his crazy psychic hippie powers? Apparently, Vulcans can hypnotize people into confronting their worst memories and finding peace with them - and this spiritual enema/lobotomy turns anyone who receives it into a bland, brainwashed cult member whose mellow can never be harshed. And the kooky cherry on top: Sybok can turn every spiritual enema/lobotomy into some kind of weird-ass street theater with audience participation. There's no explanation as to how or where Sybok obtained these powers, or how he gained the ability to commune with the "God" he's seeking by hijacking the Enterprise. I prefer keeping the metaphysical vague and mysterious in my sci-fi/fantasy, but a Star Trek story requires an explanation when the supernatural is introduced. As a villain, there's potential in an emotional Vulcan and a religious madman. Sybok's "gift" of a guilt-free life is the kind of allegory that Trek likes to explore, which The Final Frontier sadly fails to do. I have no idea what Shatner's trying to say about Sybok's beliefs - and faith in general, really - or why he equates emotional closure with the loss of free will. It's rare - and welcome - to have a villain that is simply misguided, that wants to avoid bloodshed at any cost. But a character like Sybok is nearly impossible to write for - these kind of characters make for interesting yet toothless foes. Sybok should either be sympathetic or formidable. As it is, he's neither. (*) A quick shout-out to my Mom, who took me to see Star Trek V. We can safely assume she did not enjoy it as much as me. Until recently, it never occurred to me that my parents, older brother, and wife could possibly not be excited by William Shatner or guys in capes or giant monsters. They weren't there for those things. They were there for me. If you've got someone like that in your life, say thanks to them now and again as the lights dim in the theater.
Contributor
Contributor

Jeremy Wickett was raised from an early age in one of Broken Arrow, Oklahoma's classier opium dens. A graduate of The University of Oklahoma, he now resides in Phoenix, Arizona - where the desert heat is oppressive enough to make him hallucinate that he's a character in Star Wars. And of course he can speak Bocce - it's like a second language to him. His so-called musings can be found here: http://geekemporium.blogspot.com/