12 Movie Sequels That Prove You Should Never Go Back

So much for going out at the top...

Indiana Jones Crystal Skull
LucasFilm

Sometimes it's best to walk away at the top. That goes doubly in Hollywood, where studios have a frankly startling capacity to over-extend film franchises regardless of diminishing critical returns simply because they can make a profit. At the high end that means the likes of fast & Furious going on forever and actually getting better, but it also means we have to have seventeen Amityville horrors. And about three of them are watchable.

In a frustrating (but not surprising) revelation: when Hollywood tries to resurrect lucrative franchises or extends them beyond the point of audience goodwill (see the film that inspired this article Jack Reacher: Never Go Back) the results range from dishearteningly boring (as with Reacher), or flat-out despicable.

And then there's the special brand of revivalist sequels. It's not just a matter of these films being inferior versions of the originals, it's that they took ages to come out, were hyped massively (usually as the welcome return of an iconic character) and then sank with a dull thud. They're fetid turds that we were all duped into waiting for and watching filled with excitement.

And worse still, in the majority of cases, they represent a career move by someone respected that could be most charitably referred to as "nostalgic" too. They went back, and they absolutely, categorically should not have.

12. Terminator: Genisys

Indiana Jones Crystal Skull
Paramount Pictures

What It Billed As

The mender after Terminator Salvation ruined the Terminator franchise, with Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the driving seat and an impressive cast of Emilia Clarke, Matt Smith, Jason Clarke, JK Simmons and to a MUCH lesser extent Jai Courtney.

What It Actually Was

First, an exercise in horrible miscasting, and second a plot-hole filled f*ck you to the logic of time travel movies.

Why anyone thought Jai Courtney would be charismatic enough to carry Kyle Reese, or JK Simmons should be a comedy relief bungling cop remains to be seen, but arguably the worst misuse of the the cast was turning Arnie's Terminator into a possessive, protective father in a weird sitcom where he and Kyle Reese clash over his desire for Sarah Connor. Oh and Matt Smith plays Siri, only they pretend Siri and blutooth don't exist and are somehow revelatory.

The biggest problem with Genisys is that it tries to be high concept sci-fi instead of being a monster movie like the first two Terminators, but it ends up being like a muscly idiot trying to explain quantum physics with his crayons.

It was also reliant on a massive twist, which might have been successful had they not spoiled it in the bloody trailers and made watching the film entirely pointless.

Contributor
Contributor

WhatCulture's former COO, veteran writer and editor.