12 Real Porn Films That Suck Less Than Fifty Shades Of Grey

If you're going to watch badly made sex films, why not aim higher?

Tom Byron Pictures

God bless the porn movie: not trying to be something it’s not for more than 50 years. The same cannot be said of Fifty Shades Of Grey and its equally woeful sequel: the latest additions to the “mainstream porn” film that manages to be both over-long, boring and sterile: the exact opposite of what you want from porn.

While the film franchise so far is making an obscene amount of money, and will continue to while adverts lie about how good it is and how entirely justified the box office take is, fans looking for "real sex" are left without their pay-off. Look, if you want something sexy and a bit grim that leaves you feeling simultaneously hot under the collar and entirely guilty, you should just put the internet on.

Search anything innocuous: you’ll be in front of porn within seconds. And if you really must go feature length, just stop with the pretence and the reductive mainstream label and watch some actual porn. In some cases, it’s actually a damn-sight better than your bloody mummy porn…

Executive Editor
Executive Editor

Executive Editor, chief Gunter and WhatCulture.com's most read writer. Like ever.

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