Could 2017 ever top the cinematic sexual delights of last
year? After all, 2016 was the year that gave us a graphic food orgy in Sausage
Party and Ryan Reynolds getting pegged in Deadpool. Well, fear not amorous
readers – 2017 gave as good as it got rewarding us pervs with some of the
sexiest movies of the decade.
There’s literally something for everyone in 2017’s sexiest
films, from a bit of slap and tickle to touching gay romances and from
cannibalism to alien tentacle sex. Yes, you read that last part right.
Just a head’s up: not all the films featured here are necessarily
the cream of the crop, critical acclaim-wise, but they’re entertaining enough
and more importantly sexy enough for the consideration of discerning film
pervs. Likewise, not all the movie here are that explicit. Sometimes all we
need to get our rocks off is a sexy costume, a bit of skin or simmering sexual
But we weren’t lying about the alien tentacle sex.
The classic 90s TV show that introduced the talents of
Pamela Anderson and other such pneumatic starlets to the world got the big
screen treatment this year. With a measly 18% approval rating from Rotten
Tomatoes, Baywatch the movie wasn’t one of 2017’s best-loved films but what it
lacked in terms of plot, it made up for in the sheer number of scantily clad
hot actors it featured.
There’s no sex in Baywatch but there’s lots of skin with
stars Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron providing the rippling torsos and bulging
biceps and co-stars Alexandra Daddario and Kelly Rohrbach prancing around the
beach in those iconic red bathing suits.
Plus, there’s more slow motion running sequences than you
can shake a stick at and not a hairy David Hasselhoff nipple in sight. Although
there is a glimpse of his abundant chest hair beneath a fetching Hawaiian shirt
when he briefly appears in a cameo role as Dwayne Johnson’s mentor, if that’s
the kind of thing that gets you off.