In the world of action films, there is no actor more iconic and recognizable than Arnold Schwarzenegger. When Arnold left film to go into politics during the 2000’s, the action film world lost their biggest star. Action fans longed for a day when cheesy one-liners would once again grace the screen, delivered by a guttural Austrian accent. While we were teased with Arnold coming back via cameo appearances in both of the Expendables films, we still demanded Arnold in a starring role. With the release of the Last Stand today, we are finally getting what we demand. Arnold is back in action.
However, it hasn’t always been so great for Arnold. He has done some awful, awful movies, yet, you still watch them over and over again, just because he is in them. Arnold has a way of making a terrible movie watchable just because of his accent, over-the-top acting, and strange comedic timing. Some of his worst movies have been left off this list mainly because some movies are so bad, nothing can save them (Junior, Twins, etc). This list is to honor some of Arnolds most Awesomely-Awful movies. Here’s to you Arnold, or how you would say it, AHNULD!
5. Jingle All The Way – 1996
You would be hard pressed to find a better Christmas movie that you can watch with friends and just make fun of the entire time. Arnold plays Howard Langston; a dad assigned the task of finding his son the hard-to-find Christmas item. That item being an action figure of his kid’s hero, Turbo Man! He goes through great lengths to try to retrieve the toy, but his plans are often foiled by rival dad Myron Larabee (Sinbad).
“Hilarity” ensues as the two try to one-up each other as the story takes them to a shopping mall, radio station, and a counterfeit toy factory. This film is awesomely-awful mainly due to the amount of stuff the main characters get into: Arnold’s character threatens a police force with a package he claims to be a bomb (which turns out to be a bomb), chases a child into a ball pit, and eventually finds himself portraying Turbo Man, jet-pack and all. Also, giving Arnold a character whose son is name “Jamie” is also awesomely-awful based on how hard he hits the letter J. “Jamie” simply becomes “CHAMIE!” throughout most of the movie. And that is never a bad thing. Also, any film that has Arnold punching a little-person off the back of WWE wrestler Big Show is at least watching just for the spectacle.
Defining Moment of Awesome-Awfulness
While seeing Arnold punch a little person will never get old, the moment that defines this film is his fight with Phil Hartman’s character’s reindeer. He knocks the charging reindeer out cold with a Mortal Kombat-esque uppercut that will live in .gif infamy forever.
This article was first posted on January 19, 2013