Sir Michael Caine, one of the most endearing and enduring of British acting legends seems to be working more than ever these days, with The Dark Knight Rises about to go before cameras, Gnomeo & Juliet out in the cinemas and Cars 2 on the horizon, the almost 78 year old Caine is hard to ignore. No more so that Hollywood seem to be remaking his entire back catalogue, this week the redo of his 1966 crime-caper Gambit has had some casting announcements, and we’ve already had new shiny versions of Alfie, The Italian Job, Get Carter and Sleuth (the latter two even featuring Sir Michael himself).

So, we got’s to a thinking. If this trend continues, just what Michael Caine films might be next on Hollywood’s hit-list and how would these potential re-imaginings be cast and crewed? Here’s a look at 5 potentials:

The Ipcress File

The film that confirmed Caine as a star and a character he has returned to time and again from the 1965 debut to the 1996 DTV Midnight in St. Petersburg, Caine played secret agent Harry Palmer five times throughout this career. The original film was intended as an antidote to the extravagant, exotic James Bond franchise and with EON about to ramp up production on Bond 23 maybe it’s an apt time for Hollywood to put a new spin on this.

Ideally though the film would remain distinctly British. Harry Palmer, in the films, lives in an East End flat, so we’d probably be looking at some kind of contemporary counterpart to Caine’s insubordinate spy; perhaps a less gruff performance from Jason Statham, or the marvellous Chiwetel Ejiofor who has been cropping up as a dependable Hollywood supporting role could leap into the limelight and there’s always Bond runner-up Clive Owen, both of whom worked with Caine on the magnificent Children of Men.

———————————————————————————–

The Man Who Would Be King

John Huston’s classic tale of friendship and greed boasts marvellous camaraderie from the on-screen pairing of Caine and Sean Connery, two figureheads of that generation of British screen acting talent. Which, if this film were to be remade, would be a lot of pressure on whoever was cast in that role?

It’s a mountainous task to select a pairing of British actors who could be considered ‘the greats’, and maybe from this viewpoint Connery and Caine are even greater as a result retrospectively? Perhaps we should just supplant Connery’s Danny with current Bond Daniel Craig and plonk Clive Owen (his name may crop up a lot in this article) in as Peachy? Or how about a reunion of Oscar nominee Colin Firth and his cinematic rival Hugh Grant in a delightful Bridget Jones’ Diary homage, heck, let’s cast Renee Zellwegger as Rudyard Kipling while we’re at it.

Still you could totally re-imagine the film as a knockabout comedy a la The Road to El Dorado and just cast Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, I mean they already, essentially, played the parts in a couple of outtakes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTYnPW1ZM_E

———————————————————————————–

Dressed to Kill

Ah, Brain De Palma, master of the lurid sub-Hitchcockian thriller and no more so in the ludicrous, sleazy Dressed to Kill, a 1980s slasher movie with a predictable and silly twist that I’m going to spoil.

A mysterious tall blond woman with dark sunglasses is killing people, at one point in the film she reveals herself as being called Bobbi, and Michael Caine’s Dr. Robert (It should be obvious by now) Elliot reveals that she is a transgendered person that he’s currently treating. Only, come the film’s finale you discover than Robert and Bobbi are actually the same person!

So here’s a chance for an actor to really show off their feminine side, albeit a psychotic razor-wielding feminine side, but a feminine side nonetheless. I’ll immediately scratch Clive Owen off of the list because he’d look hideous in a blonde wig, but this could be a great opportunity for any of Hollywood’s pretty boys to shine.

Johnny Depp, who is no stranger to film’s with awful twists (Secret Window) would probably make an extremely attractive Bobbi and thus send the entire heterosexual male demographic of the audience spiralling into a confusion about their proclivities. Or go the other way and have Angelina Jolie play a female therapist who dresses up as a killer man?

———————————————————————————–

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Michael Caine hasn’t been afraid at putting his own stamp on remakes, and this Frank Oz directed comedy treat features him and Steve Martin as con men in this un-credited re-imagining of Bedtime Story, which starred David Niven and Marlon Brando. Caine is the sophisticated trickster Lawrence Jameson, who makes a career deceiving the rich out of huge sums at his French Riviera home, his turf is invaded by loutish American Freddy Benson. Their rivalry goes through a number of stages, with Jameson at one pointing incorporating Benson into his cons (as Ruprecht his idiot-savant brother) and later the two compete over a mark; Janet Colgate (Glenne Headly).

Clive Owen, yes, him again, has shown a knack for easy-going charm in Duplicity, a similarly con-themed flick, and it’d be interesting to see him attempting something a bit broader than his usual fair. The film has a similar dynamic to that of last year’s Due Date, with Robert Downey Jr the cool and calm and Zach Galifinakis a bumbling, doofus but one you still root for. Though it’d be interesting to continue the film’s British vs. American set-up, and perhaps put regular Caine imitator Jude Law into the Lawrence Jameson role or the yammering Vince Vaughn into Benson’s flip-flops.

———————————————————————————–

The Swarm

Disaster master Irwin Allen brings us the end-of-the-world scenario we’ve all been afraid of, yes, killer bees in Texas. Caine called this one of the worst films he ever made, harsh words from a man who made Jaws: The Revenge, and it was a notorious box-office bomb. Though Caine, when promoting his recent Sleuth remake, stressed that studios should favour remaking flops over successes, as it’s undoubtedly easier to improve on a failure.

Fortunately Roy Lee of Vertigo Entertainment is currently negotiating to remake this, so of all these possibilities perhaps this one is the next one to start fantasy-casting?

Caine heads up the starry cast as entomologist Brad Crane, and like almost all heroes in disaster movies, he wants to prevent the military from using force against the bees, because that would just makes things worse.

If anyone should direct this film it’s M Night Shyamalan, who already made the counter-bees film with The Happening, in fact, let’s just have The Swarm be the long-awaited The Happening reunion picture, with Mark Wahlberg again taking over from Caine (as he did on The Italian Job), John Leguizamo as General Slater and Zooey Deschanel as Helena. Perhaps this time Shyamalan can make a global disaster movie that’s intentionally hilarious?

So, how about you? Any Caine classics you think could do with a remake, or any alternative casting calls for the films above?

Want to write about this topic and have your work read by thousands every day? Click here to become a contributor to WhatCulture.

Topics: