Some people reckon that film geeks spend too much of their time spitballing ridiculous theories about their favourite movies, as if there were more important and fun things to do with their lives. More important… okay, maybe. But more fun? These people have clearly never had a pub conversation after 11pm before.
Those of us that have, understand the rising exhilaration of blethering on about a film, only for someone else to get it: to nod excitedly and then to begin contributing their own ideas. Just like conspiracy theorists, we freeze-frame DVDs, blow up still images, connect the dots between unconnected films, pull together themes and metaphors, all to present to the world some of the wackiest theories known to man. Some say you can’t officially call yourself a film geek unless you’ve got a pet theory that you know is absolutely bloody stupid, but that you’re privately convinced is also complete genius.
You’ve all heard the one about the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, how it contains Marcellus Wallace’ soul, or the loot from the heist in Reservoir Dogs. You’ve probably gone over all of the reasons why Sean Connery’s character John Mason in The Rock is definitely, absolutely James Bond under a careful pseudonym. But have you heard the following theories before?
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. And pro wrestling, which is both a blessing and a curse depending on exactly how bad RAW is this week. I tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless at @desincarne. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.