There's lots to be thankful for in the world. Deep fat fryers. Pleasant summer afternoons. That James Cameron was reigned in from releasing this horrific ending to one of the most profitable films of all time, and one of his most famous to date. It really is that bad, offering up manic performances and cringe-worthy dialogue in equal measure.
Titanic follows the star-crossed paths of Jack and Rose, two young people from different worlds that fall in love, but are fated to death upon the infamous Titanic maiden voyage. Rose tells the tale of her experience aboard the ship as a 100 year old woman, reliving the pain of losing her one true love to a group of treasure hunters obsessed with lost artefacts rumoured to be on the wreckage.
The cinematic release we got was a touching tribute to the romance that has defined generations. Depicting old Rose dropping the giant jewel the crew has been searching for - the heart of the ocean - into the sea, we watch as she returns to bed and plays out a fantasy of reuniting with her one true love, Jack, either dreaming or passing away peacefully depending on your interpretation of the sequence.
It's a big ending, one that is both beautiful and sad, wrapping up the film's central themes in a neat package and allowing us a final indulgence in Jack and Rose's doomed relationship, leaving them together forever in the blissful imaging of the future that could never be.
Old Rose goes to drop the heart of the ocean into the sea, but is stopped by the treasure hunters who learn some valuable life lessons from a woman on the edge, including the zinger "You look for treasure in the wrong place, Mr. Lovett. Only life is priceless, and making each day count."
There's hammy, and then there's this mess of a finale that reduces Bill Baxton into manic laughter whilst an old woman ogles him and her granddaughter unsettlingly as they gleefully dance.
Thank you for not inflicting this scene below upon us, Cameron. Some things are better said without words.