7. Pain & Gain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As9nYDFchdQ What Is It? The latest Michael Bay explosorama, Pain & Gain is a movie that likes to think it's based on a true story, but has factored in an unnecessary amount of fire-based scenes for your personal enjoyment. Starring Mark Wahlberg and The Rock, the movie focuses on two muscular knucklehead bodybuilders who manage to get caught up in a kidnapping plot, and must use guns and drive cars dangerously to stop themselves from getting killed. Why You'll Say You'll See It... "Oh, God, another mindless Michael Bay movie, right? This guy hasn't got a clue, has he? C'mon, let's go watch it and make fun of it at the bowling alley afterwards." Why You Really Want To See It... Because you definitely do. C'mon. Like, with no added irony, you seriously want to watch Mark Wahlberg and the Rock kicking ass for two hours, because your brain is telling you - against your better judgement - that you should watch "the cool movie." Sure, you can tell people that you're going to see it 'cause it looks "bad" and that "Michael Bay is the worst director ever and there's a certain pleasure to be associated with that," but you're just tricking yourself: the colours and the banter and the promise of at least one scene where a car crashes into something it isn't suppose to has drawn you in. Hollywood, baby!