Every Bond Girl Ranked - Worst To Best

24. Stacey Sutton (A View To A Kill, 1985)

MGM

As difficult as it is to accept Sir Roger Moore, at 58 years old, as Her Majesty’s finest secret agent, it’s an even tougher ask for the audience to buy the air-headed Tanya Roberts as state geologist Stacey Sutton. In a franchise filled to the brim with laser watches and invisible cars, the sight of this blonde barbie tutting about rock formations and decrying Max Zorin’s naughty environmental plans as “incredibly dangerous” is perhaps the most ridiculous of all.

An attempt to appear savvy upon her first meeting with Bond doesn’t last long, as Sutton soon reveals herself to be utterly dependent on 007 every step of the way. She’s simply a hindrance to Bond for the duration of the story. If A View to a Kill were a video game, Sutton would be the subject of one of those dreaded “escort” missions as an AI character constantly wandering into danger and needing to be rescued at every turn. “JAAAAAAMES!”

To make matters worse, Tanya Roberts was almost 30 years younger than Roger Moore, her onscreen lover. He was older even than her real-life mother. There’s nothing clean about that shower scene at the end. *shudder*

Best moment: She bakes a good quiche? Oh wait, Bond made that.

Worst moment: “JAAAAAAAMES!! HELP ME!” Take your pick. Each of Sutton’s screeching cries for Bond’s immediate assistance are just as grating as the last.

Contributor

Chest thumping James Bond fanatic, reader of books of the written variety, and Game of Thrones aficionado living in China. Once had a fever dream about riding a rowboat with Davos Seaworth. Hopelessly dedicated to prestigious TV dramas (and Star Trek), movies, sports, and Haruki Murakami novels, he particularly revels in top 10 lists with titles that end with "...of all time." Currently neglecting his pollution mask in Tianjin.

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