How To Fix The STAR WARS Prequels?

Okay, so, time and again we've heard people complaining about the Star Wars prequels, whether it's passionate blog posts on this very site, RedLetterMedia's incredible film-by-film breakdowns or just someone weeping in their local HMV because of what Lucas has done to their beloved saga. But, what were people expecting? What could have made the Star Wars prequels great and worthy of the original trilogy? You've all had time to soak in the hundreds of hours of extra features on the Blu-rays and compare and contrast the old with the new. (Provided you didn't kick your foot through your television in anger at all of Lucas' pointless CG revisions.) Personally I think the story of Anakin Skywalker was a story not worth telling, it's basically like having a six hour flashback sequence that would occur once Luke realises Darth Vader is his father. Imagine the scene; Luke has just had his hand patched up and a ghost Yoda appears to him: Luke: Yoda, is is true? Yoda: True it is. Vader is your father. Luke: Nooooooooo! Yoda: Yes, yes, heard this have I, now, let me tell you story of young Jedi gone bad. Cue wibbly-wobbly flashback effect and Episode 1: The Phantom Menace begins. Except if you look at the films that way then I can't imagine why The Phantom Menace would begin the way it does. Sure, we need to be introduced to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, but what, really, is all this Trade Federation nonsense about, why does it have to be such a prominent feature of this film's narrative? Surely this should have been shoved deep into the background and the film should have instead focused on the characters and the discovery of this young boy who possessed great potential as a Jedi to be. This is further compounded, in the first film as it stands, by having Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon chance upon the young Anakin kind of by coincidence. Here he's a 'slave' working for Watto and building a pod-racer in his spare time, the Jedi's begin to suspect he may be the one prophecised to bring 'balance to the force', his freedom is won in a bet and Anakin can go with them, though his mother has to stay behind. The film's 'plot' ultimately tails off into three or four separate finales, in which Jar Jar Binks and his people fight a droid army, Queen Amidala attempts to capture Viceroy of the Trade Federation Gunray, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have a duel with Darth Maul and Anakin pilots a starfighter against the droid control ship. Sadly, none of this really matters, it all seems so meaningless, that these are just things that are happening and we're supposed to care because they cost someone a lot of money and have the 'Star Wars' brand attached. Look at the the first film, y'know, the fourth one, think about the plot of that film. In many ways it's very similar to the plot of The Phantom Menace to begin with, we start on a spaceship, there are baddies and an attack, two characters escape the ship and wind up on the planet where they will meet our 'hero'. Things start to differ from here, as we experience the film primarily from Luke Skywalker's point of view as he learns about the Empire and the Rebel Alliance as much as we do, he goes off with old Obi-Wan to recruit a pilot to take them to the Princess' planet, which in turn leads them to uncover the secret weapon that the Empire has been building and stage an attack. Throughout his journey Obi-Wan tries to teach a doubtful Luke about the ways of the force, which ultimately helps him to destroy the Death Star. In The Phantom Menace we don't really follow events through anyone's eyes, who are we supposed to be empathising with? Obi-Wan? Qui-Gon? Anakin? Amidala? Jar Jar!?! The film lacks focus in so many ways, and whilst there's nothing wrong with having an ensemble cast of characters this isn't exactly Robert Altman's Star Wars. So, to begin with we need to focus the story on someone, who should that be? For my money it's got to be either Obi-Wan or Anakin, I feel like the trilogy of films should have been primarily about that relationship and it is glaringly evident from George Lucas' writing that he really missed the boat on that one, trying to force their relationship and camaraderie rather than letting it develop on-screen. How about if, after the opening sequence with Obi-Wan and his master Qui-Gon getting ambushed instead of negotiating trade routes they wound up crash landing on Tatooine where they are discovered by the young Anakin, but let's make him a teenager. With the help of his mother the two Jedi are taken to his home and looked after, where, almost immediately the Jedi sense something different about this boy. Anakin doesn't have a father, he never knew him, he deserted the family when Anakin was a baby, this goes some way to try to establish a paternal bond between Qui-Gon and Anakin. A ship, sent by the Supreme Chancellor, arrives to escort the Jedi back to Naboo, but there is that lingering question in the Jedi's mind about Anakin, after a brief debate between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon about this boy's potential they offer him a chance to come with them, his mother stays at home. Qui-Gon goes to speak to the Supreme Chancellor about the failed negotiations, whilst Obi-Wan is left to 'baby-sit' Anakin, at this stage, Obi-Wan does not see what Qui-Gon senses in this young kid, it's almost sibling rivalry. They head to Coruscant, where Qui-Gon is to present Anakin to the Jedi Council, on the way to this meeting, travelling amongst the corridors of power of the senate, Anakin catches a glimpse of Queen Amidala and is intrigued, his schoolboy-ish attraction is mocked by Obi-Wan. As they get nearer to the Jedi chambers they meet Senator Palpatine, who is suspiciously pleased to meet Anakin, perhaps he senses the very same thing that Qui-Gon did? (Of course he bloomin' well does, we all know that he's a Dark Lord of the Sith, it's called dramatic irony!) Qui-Gon presents Anakin to the council, they're all very stuffy and guarded about this somewhat arrogant youth. Anakin leaves the chamber and the Jedi turn down Qui-Gon's offer to train him. Strangely frustrated Qui-Gon breaks the news to Anakin, and then tells Obi-Wan that he should train him, Obi-Wan is peeved because he doesn't particularly like Anakin either, but uses the excuse "What about the Jedi Council?" to which Qui-Gon flippantly replies "They only said I couldn't train him." So, whilst Qui-Gon goes off to deal with all the boring trade federation stuff - in the background of the film, not as a main plot - Obi-Wan attempts to train Anakin in the ways of the Force. Now, we ramp up the baddie plot, we get a little look into the Galactic Senate where we see Senator Palpatine looking evil and menacing, perhaps using words in a twisty, sneaky way, almost like a Jedi mind trick, yeah? After the meeting Viceroy Gunray is cornered by the cloaked figure of Darth Maul and he expresses concern over Amidala's influence, Gunray protests that he's doing all he can, Maul asks the Gunray to arrange a meeting with Amidala. Obi-Wan and Anakin are heading back from their training, bickering about Anakin's discipline and his own confusion about the force, Obi-Wan explaining that it's a means of evasion, defence and mental strength and Anakin doesn't see what much use that'll be against a blaster. He spots Amidala and her bodyguard across the courtyard and impetuously decides that it's now or never and proceeds to follow her, Obi-Wan, not wishing to see the boy get himself into too much trouble chases after him. Amidala is on her way to the meeting with Gunray, which turns out to be an ambush, fortunately Anakin and Obi-Wan are there to protect her, fighting off the battle droids and trying to move Amidala - her bodyguards killed - to safety, when Darth Maul turns up and fights the Jedi and his pupil. Distracted by doing battle with this guy they fail to stop Gunray, in a panic, kidnapping Amidala and boarding a ship to escape. Anakin, more concerned with the princess than Obi-Wan, nabs another ship to give chase, leaving Obi-Wan to struggle against this incredible opponent. Fortunately Qui-Gon shows up and helps Obi-Wan, with Darth Maul eventually retreating. Meanwhile Anakin's off being all cavalier, he pursues the Gunray to a space station, swaggers in, rescues Amidala ("I'm Anakin Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you.") and they leave blowing the station to bits. Upon returning Anakin expects to be given a heroes welcome but is scolded by both Jedi, and whilst Amidala is thankful to be rescued he's basically gone and caused a political storm in a tea-cup with the hostile action against the Gunray, which will definitely ruffle feathers in the senate. Anakin and Amidala get all flirty, Obi-Wan isn't best pleased about it, Qui-Gon doesn't quite see why, is it jealousy that Qui-Gon sees so much potential in Anakin and Obi-Wan doesn't, or does Obi-Wan envy Anakin's relationship with the Princess? Regardless, it rubs him up the wrong way. Much to Senator Palpatine's glee the Senate is completely divided with arguments borne of recent events, some attribute it to the arrogance of the Jedi that they can 'get involved' with poitical matters. Displeases Yoda this does. Qui-Gon speaks to Yoda about the Sith that attacked them earlier, and Yoda is very concerned about the rise of the Sith, that this is just the political climate they would need to grow powerful, fear and all that... Yoda even goes so far as to suggest he has felt the presence of Sith-like evil in this very Senate, at which point they bump into Palpatine, ho-ho, it's funny because he's who Yoda's referring to, but Yoda doesn't really know that yet. There'd need to be more of a narrative drive from this point on to the start of the Clone Wars, I feel like it'd be great if this was triggered - much like World War I - with an assassination in retaliation to the earlier Gunray incident caused by Anakin's impetuousness. However, the assassination is orchestrated by Darth Sidious, and the target is Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum, with Darth Maul to be the assassin, Sidious tells him to make it look like the work of a Jedi. The asssassination goes ahead, but Maul is intercepted by Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Anakin in the same kind of location as the Duel of Fates takes place already, but with the laser-seperators keeping Darth Maul battling alternating pairs of the Jedi. Ultimately the battle does seperate all three and Qui-Gon dies in much the same fashion as he does in the film, when the shields lower Anakin attacks aggressively, Obi-Wan is more controlled, but he stills falls into the pit, leaving Anakin to kill Maul and help Obi-Wan up. The council is in uproar, Palpatine steps into the Supreme Chancellor's role, the Seperatist Crisis is well under-way and what will become the Clone Wars has started. So, from there the second film would focus more on the wars themselves, but featuring the adventures of Obi-Wan and Anakin, it'd be a buddy-movie essentially, putting the romance for Anakin on the side in much the same way as the Lethal Weapon movies did for Riggs! The one concession to Anakin's dark future in this film would be finding out that his mother has died, he would not go on a murderous killing spree though, instead he'd bottle up those emotions. The third film would be the book-end to this, with Obi-Wan and Anakin's friendship falling apart as Anakin expresses frustration at the limitations of Jedi philosophy, a craving for power, an addiction to it almost that sees Palpatine step forward to fill the father figure role left vacant by Qui-Gon's death. The final scene of the third film would come after Anakin has become Vader (he does not say "Nooooooo!" and would be played by David Prowse), Padme has died (not of a broken heart), and the twins are being sepated, Obi-Wan delivers the baby Luke to Owen and Beru, they ask him about the boy's father. Obi-Wan stares pensively into the distance before sombrely remarking; "He was a good friend." He walks off towards the twin suns of Tatooine, to live out in the desert until many years later the grown-up Luke finds him.

The End!

Okay, well, that's just off the top of my head really, and it stills kind of configures itself to many of the ideas that Lucas had in place for The Phantom Menace, which are, in an action set-piece and dramatic way, pretty limiting to be honest. Many of the flaws with the films as they stand boil down to a narrative that generally denies the audience the most interesting scenes, with Anakin and Obi-Wan creating their 'relationship' out of references to adventures of days gone by, the idea of Anakin and Obi-Wan being good friends would be firmly built into the second film in this bizarro-universe version, and the love story would be fleeting, passionate and devoid of conversations about sand. Of course, this is an utterly futile exercise, the films are what they are and they can't be changed. But, I was curious, as opposed to just listing what's wrong with the films - as entertaining as that is - to look at them and try to see how they could have been, if not great, at least bearing some resemblance to the atmosphere and energy of the original trilogy.