Jurassic Park 4: 10 Ways To Make It A Success

9. Forget Jurassic Park III Ever Happened

Jurassic Park III was awful. It didn't look like Jurassic Park, it didn't feel like Jurassic Park, it didn't sound like Jurassic Park and I can only assume that it didn't taste or smell like Jurassic Park because, to put it bluntly, it just wasn't Jurassic Park. I would honestly retcon it out of the Jurassic Park movie universe's history and pretend it never happened. It shouldn't be referred to in a new movie at all. I think I'd actually prefer it if they brushed it off as some kind of Dallas-esq dream sequence. That is how much I hated it. Silly looking Velociraptors, communicating with Velociraptors via blowing in to a replica of a Velociraptor larynx, dream sequences in which Velociraptors actually talk, a lone little boy surviving in a dinosaur-infested wilderness for 8 weeks, the whole 'Kirby Enterprises' plot, the T-Rex and the Spinosaurus managing to avoid each other for years, before conveniently battling it out just as the humans arrive... it was just ridiculous and contrived and does not deserve to be a part of the Jurassic Park ethos.