Life After Jack Bauer: Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

jack bauer 24 Ever since "24" went off the air, I've found myself with a gaping Jack Bauer shaped hole in my life. I've tried to fill that void with a variety of different kick ass heroes and time and again I've been disappointed. It has led me to the question, where have all the action hero tough guys of yesteryear went? This realisation has come shortly after seeing the recent affront to cinema that was Olympus Has Fallen. It's Die Hard in the White House. Which has almost certainly never been done before. I'm not here to review that film, but suffice to say it was absolutely diabolical and I was wracking my brain to think why? The CGI looked cheap, but I've seen cheaper. The villain was pants, but he was still pants when Paul Walker ass kicked him ten years ago and every scene in the White House was darker than Chris Brown's personality. But that wasn't it. So what was it? I was really struggling to think what the issue was and then it hit me like a rogue Spartan. Now, I like Gerard Butler. Or so I thought, then I looked at his back catalogue and realised that I haven't liked a single film that he has appeared in since 300. The reason? He isn't convincing as an action hero. He looks the part, don't get me wrong, if there were ever to be a meme for ridiculously photogenic Navy Seal, it could be any still of him from this film. The problem is he can't sell what he's shovelling. He lacks the delivery and charisma that is required for a role like this. He finds it difficult to deliver lines like, "I'm gonna stick my knife in your brain" with the relevant irony that is required. That got me thinking, there isn't really anyone in cinema nowadays that can cut it as a believable action star. The emotionless CGI seems to match the emotionless leading men. Go back and watch the original Die Hard. John McClane is not a physically threatening character. He constantly looks on the verge of collapse, is tired for most of the film and is constantly bitter and disbelieving about the situation he's in. Just like a normal human being would be. diehard This is what makes him a believable person, his normality. Compare the scenes where John McClane is picking broken glass out of his feet and almost in tears, to the scene in OHF where Gerry Butler removes a piece of shrapnel from his leg and is back up and running, without even a pause for thought. I'm not saying that Die Hard is a believable film, but by fulling fleshing out his character and making him a believable human being, we care when he's injured. Whereas it seems that Gerry Butler just has to utter his Spartan war cry and he's back in the game, injury free. In recent years though, Bruce Willis has definitely lost the spark that made us love him so. Let's face it, in every film he's appeared in since Unbreakable, he looks like he can't be bothered. So you can count him out. In fact, you could probably discount all of the geriatric heroes from The Expendables whose main selling point nowadays is to wander around set pieces, exclaiming, "Dammit, I'm old" whenever physical exertion is required. arnie the last stand Back to the original point though, the last true action hero that you were excited about seeing was Jack Bauer. Kiefer Sutherland taking on terrorists in the White House in the 40 minute episode of season 7 of 24 was more exciting than anything in any Gerard Butler film. The reason why? We care about Jack Bauer, the same way we care about John McClane. One of the most shocking moment of 24, was the finale of season 3, where Jack finally alone after a really long and crap day... starts to break down in tears. Whilst in the moment he seems cool as ice, the after effects leave him damaged. Now that 24 is off the air and the movie suspend in development hell, who do we have left? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is totally believable as an ass kicker and charismatic as all hell, yet has been let down somewhat by the poor films he's been in. Matt Damon was fantastic as Jason Bourne who was an equal balance of human being and badass killing machine. Though if you look at the numbers, he only directly kills about 4 people through the entire trilogy and most of them are in self defense. It's not just about the body count. Though it seems it was 3 and out for Matt as he has no plans to return to the series. The Bourne Legacy doesn't exist, so we can't discuss it. Once the dust has settled and people have long forgotten about Olympus Has Fallen, who will we be left with that is worth our time? I can only think of one person. And even he seems to have retired.
Contributor
Contributor

A simple chap who loves the magic of cinema despite the odd disappointment or two. Get in touch with Jay on Twitter@reellife32.