Because it's a common complaint that the Oscars is a bloated, needlessly overlong ceremony - largely due to the abundance of commercial breaks, let's be honest - Jimmy Kimmel stated at the start of the show that the winner who gives the shortest acceptance speech would win a fancy Kawasaki jet ski.
The almost $18,000 vehicle ended up going to Phantom Thread's costume designer Mark Bridges, who wrapped up his speech in a tidy 36 seconds early in the night, and nobody else ever really came close.
Despite the allure of the jet ski and Kimmel even adding a trip to Lake Havasu later in the broadcast, this year's show still ended up being the longest Oscar ceremony since 2007, clocking in at a brutal 3 hours and 50 minutes.
Considering that some recent shows have run over half-an-hour shorter than this, there clearly needs to be a reworking of the almost unbearably turgid format next year.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.