PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4 Trailer Needs Drowning In Fountain of Youth

There's something ironic about the plot for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides being based around the 'fountain of youth' myth because if ever a franchise felt dated, drawn-out and old-hack, it's this one. The moment Jack Sparrow's Johnny Depp turns up in this trailer (after an absurd build up) and does the drunken buffonery routine for the FOURTH time in a decade and the 'can you repeat that?' line delivery, anyone with any sense, or credibility, or half a brain simply must roll their eyes in disgust. This'll be the final trailer my mateys for the mid-May opening Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and the one that outlines structurally how the story will play out. Personally, the more I see of the film, the less I actually want to see it... I had hoped that the removal of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom from this sequel, and in basing the story on a stand-alone tale with the inspired castings of Ian McShane (absurdly perfect as Blackbeard) and a new love interest in Penelope Cruz, this would bring with it much needed life into the tired formula - but it all just feels the same old, same old. I defy anyone to watch this trailer and come up with anything particularly new or indistinguishable from the trailers for the past two Gore Verbinski sequels? I want to be excited for Pirates of the Carribean 4. I love the ride at Disneyland. I think the first movie is actually kind of genius and I keep hearing great things about Tim Powers' original novel On Stranger Tides, for which has influenced this film but screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, who have wrote all movies to date as head writers, clearly have nothing left to say in the Pirates genre, despite Disney throwing huge paychecks at them to make something work. And director Rob Marshall seems to be have been brought in to do a workmanlike job of keeping the ship a sail whilst it gets even more convoluted and messy. I just don't see what there is to get excited about here with the film's release just around the corner.
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Matt Holmes is the co-founder of What Culture, formerly known as Obsessed With Film. He has been blogging about pop culture and entertainment since 2006 and has written over 10,000 articles.