10 Astounding Tales Which Exemplify Dwarf Fortress' Insanity

8. Fluffy Wamblers - The Ultimate Ammunition

Wandering through the forest, one dwarf adventurer created by The Anus of Discontent happened to stumble upon one of the game's most powerful monsters in a fit of bad luck: A bronze colossus. Renowned for their sheer invulnerability, these creatures have a reputation for being capable of mauling dragons to death, shrugging off artillery and being borderline unkillable. One of the most common ways most players in fortress mode have developed to beat them back is dunking them in lava. Suffice to say, Discontent didn't have that luxury. Politely informing him that its name was Akest Nudenotung Tishak Eges it lunged at the dwarf, causing the bearded warrior to high tail it down the hillside with a homicidal ferrus titan at his heels. Halfway down through the hill the dwarf stumbled upon a small horde of rabbits and, despite imminent death mere moments behind him, he paused and started to grab every one in sight. Given the seconds it needed, the colossus tore through the undergrowth, burst into the clearing and charged at the dwarf. In a single movement, the adventurer promptly spun and hurled one of his captured fluffy wamblers at the monster€™s head. Now, by this point Discontent had grinded out the dwarf's throwing skill until it was Legendary +2, a staggeringly high level which effectively means they are skilled beyond equal. This affects everything from the range and accuracy to the sheer power behind a shot. You can probably guess what happened next. Exploding on impact in a shower of crimson fur and mangled bone, the rabbit crashed square into the colossus' face and the impact ripped its head clean off of its shoulders. Yes, you just read that correctly. Through simple time and effort Discontent was able to raise a dwarf's natural stats to the point where he could kill one of the most powerful beings in the entire game with a small mammal. Even obsessives of the Elder Scrolls series never quite managed to abuse god-mode skill grinding of this degree.
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A gamer who has played everything from Daikatana to Dwarf Fortress. An obsessive film fanatic valuing everything from The Third Man to Flash Gordon. An addict to tabletop titles, comics and the classics of science fiction, whatever media they are a part of.