10 Outrageously Sexual Moments In Super Mario History

Happy 30th birthday, you dirty little plumber.

Who would ever have thought that behind the caps, the moustache and the many, many shouts of 'It's a me, Mario!' there lived a whole secret world of depravity and filth? Even deeper down than the underground stages of Mario these secrets lie buried. Only accessible via the specialist warp pipes through the beaded curtain at the back, with the flashing red neon lights, these seedy, underground moments are enjoyed when the credits roll on Mario games and we finally put down our controllers. Unfortunately, these deviants sometimes slip up and outrageously sexual moments somehow find their way into our gameplay experiences. The Mushroom Kingdom may look innocent and playful, but in reality, there's plenty that's going on behind the scenes if you're mind is switched on to pick up environmental filth. Join us as we delve into Mario and friends' sexual slip-ups.

10. Bowser JR - Where Did He Come From?

First spotted in Super Mario Sunshine and convinced that Princess Peach was his momma, Bowser Jr is an enigma wrapped up in a parcel of filth. We all know Bowser is perpetually obsessed with kidnapping Princess Peach, but we've never really known why - with the assumption being that he's just a bad dude who commits crimes for the hell of it. But, if Bowser Jr.'s claims are true, we may well now have the sordid reason behind the repeated kidnapping attempts. It seems that at some stage, Princess Peach and Bowser may well have gotten jiggy with it on more than a few occasions behind Mario's back, with the implication being that despite the portly plumber's obsession with her, she simply can't resist the charms of a giant lizard man when Mario's busy trying to rescue her. Either that, or Bowser doesn't give her any chance to give permission, which adds an even darker sheen to things. Is Mario actually trying to save Princess Peach from a fate much worse than baking cakes for the rest of her life? Are the Koopas all part of the same sordid family? There's something seriously wrong going on here behind the scenes. Regardless of the nature of the sexy time, it clearly resulted in the production of a half-man, half-lizard man-child. Just don't think about the mechanics of Peach and Bowser together... Such things should stay in the recesses of the darkest corners of the darkest minds on the internet.
Contributor
Contributor

Dan Curtis is approximately one-half videogame knowledge, and the other half inexplicable Geordie accent. He's also one quarter of the Factory Sealed Retro Gaming podcast.