9. We're Too Moronic To Look After Ourselves
Health and safety warnings. Theyve been a part of gaming for decades now, and for the most part theyve been tucked away in the instruction manuals in tiny tiny writing. We could ignore them, and game developers could avoid getting their wide and comfy pants sued off. Everyone was happy. Then some numbnut threw their Wiimote through the TV, another one smashed a vase through a complete lack of spatial awareness and Nintendo had to place a warning at the start of the game. Developers ran with the idea and now the world has to suffer screen after screen of safety instructions as if playing a video game was somehow akin to base jumping or bomb disposal. Make sure you have the cord firmly looped around your wrist, Be aware of people and objects around you, It looks a bit nippy out there, better wear a hat. You cant even get away from them in the game, repeatedly being asked: Why not take a break? Ive just spent the best part of £40 on this game youve made and 20 minutes in youre telling me to go and do something else? Mobile gaming isn't immune either. The 3DS warns you that you mustnt use the 3D function if youre under 8, and even if youre older than that theres still a risk that using it may make your eyes explode. I think. If Im honest I havent actually read the warnings fully as they tend to make me go red and want to throw things. Perhaps its the norm these days, but are we really that weak and feeble as a race? When I was growing up we regularly risked life and limb by spinning 2ps in the slots at Big Vinnies arcade. Once they got shut down after the nailgun incident I played Goldeneye so much that for the next two weeks every time I saw a CCTV camera in real life my fingers literally twitched in a Pavlovian attempt to shoot it. Im still here, still healthy, still sane. If I see many more of these health warnings, that may change.