10 Videogame Characters Who Inexplicably Survived A Sh*tload Of Punishment

2. Agent 47 – The Hitman Series

Agent 47

We’re all aware of Agent 47 – a bald, urbane super-assassin, genetically engineered to be a ruthless killing machine. This, combined with his natty sideline in leather gloves and sharp suits make him out as some cold, calculating monster, and the way he goes about his business compliments this myth. He prowls around with the world’s most silent shoes and a garrotte wire, taking down those stupid enough to focus at a wall for too long. He’s in and out of the target’s manor like smoke, never noticed and completely silent. Yet there’s another side to 47 – that of the complete basket case.

Now, the Hitman games have always been pretty up front with how open they are, so you’re always able to blast through a mission if you want. 47 himself is completely aware of this, because he’s always carrying his heroically overpowered Silverballers. So far, so videogame, you might think. But it’s when you look at the other items in his inventory that you see just how crazy our favourite assassin is. 47 can be made to always carry some adrenaline and painkillers to alleviate the nasty effects of bullet wounds.

I’ll state that again – to counteract pretty serious wounds, he’s got tablets and adrenaline. Now, that’s already insane, but when you find out that the painkillers were made for horses, it’s really time to call the men in white coats. Here you have the world’s foremost assassin, and he’s occasionally rocking  into some swank Eastern European hotel high on Ketamine and carrying enough adrenaline to counter-act an overdose just in case he walks into some bullets. Breaks the illusion somewhat, doesn’t it? No wonder he wears some outlandish disguises – he’s off his nut on drugs.

But the most astounding thing is that 47’s plans work better than you could ever imagine. The guy can shut out the pain and just keep on trucking, simply because he’s nuts. He can sustain more holes than your average game of Kerplunk, but still aim without a hint of discomfort. Better still, if he notches five headshots while on death’s door, he gets a health boost, finally breaking the door down between first aid and violence. He runs on drugs, rock-and-roll and headshots to the extent that he’s actually cured by it. Simply astonishing.