5 Video Game Villains You’d Never Want As Your Boss

Villainy is often glorified in films and video games, with characters like Borderlands 2’s Handsome Jack often being the most…

Charlie Oldfield

Contributor

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Villainy is often glorified in films and video games, with characters like Borderlands 2’s Handsome Jack often being the most compelling and interesting to be found in the their respective product. This is why, when given the choice, many players will side with the villains over the heroes, shown by the excessively high ratio of Chimera to Humans in the Resistance online modes. The simple truth is it’s just more enjoyable to be the bad guy, discarding all rules and conventions in order to frolic merrily through a carnage filled city, leaving a sea of mutilated corpses in one’s wake.

But if these gaming nasties were real, would you really want to work for them? Well no, as you probably don’t really want to go around murdering innocents in the real world anyway, but let’s look at those blaggards you really wouldn’t want to be your boss.

Here is our list of the five antagonists who’d have every union in the country on their asses within a week of opening up shop; though admittedly they would probably be too occupied being all sexy and evil to give much of a crap.

 

5. Bowser – Super Mario Bros.

Bowser
Many of us complain about our working conditions, but in comparison the hazards surrounding the Mushroom Kingdom’s Koopers make us look like a man whining about a stubbed toe while stood next to an a limbless decapatee. While the idea of working for a King (though what Bowser is actually King of I’m not sure, as unless he’s Princess Peach’s dad, thus making the underlining theme of Mario attempted incest along with the already suggested bestiality, he’s only a King in the same sense that Dr Dre has a PhD) sounds pretty amazing, what the job actually entails is both infinitely uninteresting and dangerous.

Bowser’s staff spend their working days surrounded by lava waterfalls, bottomless ravines, and floating blocks that could logically fall on their heads and kill them at any second. The tasks they’re forced to do don’t make up for it either, with loyal employees having to waste their lives away endlessly walking backwards and forwards in a straight line, crying inside as they see their idiotic management attempting the same failed recruitment strategy (i.e. kidnap) for the umpteenth billion time.

On top of all that there’s also the constant possibility a brightly coloured Italian might randomly jump on their head or set fire to them, so that’s assault and burning alive added to the ever increasing list of what Bowser’s crew have to face on a daily basis. In short, it really isn’t an employment opportunity you’d want to explore, so why not just apply for a nice admin job with Wario instead?