FIFA 13: 6 Features That Suck

1. The Commentary

Usually I try to deaden the commentary out, but this addition brings with it such preposterously over the top levels of ridiculous punditry that I actually think I€™m watching the match on Sky, which is not what anybody wants. First off, a lot of the commentary is recycled from FIFA 12 which isn€™t a massive issue, football matches are football matches, so you expect a lot of situations to repeat themselves but for one of the biggest earning gaming franchises in the world to copy and paste aspects that should be updated just smacks of laziness. However then you get to the new commentary and you think you would choose to listen to an audiobook rendition of Katie Price€™s autobiography voiced by Joe Pasquale than hear what these people have to say. Martin Tyler€™s opening lines to a Semi-Final cup match is embarrassing; €˜Which one of these teams will get to the final? We know one will get to the final, but which one will it be today...who gets to the final...It€™s the final next...Final.€™ Furthermore any keeper concedes a goal and later makes a save is referred to as €˜making up for being an abysmal excuse for a goal keeper, and a man€™; funnily enough not every keeper who has conceded a goal has been awful and the constant referral to every keeper who has conceded as the worst keeper in all of history is like something you€™d read on the twitter page of David De Gea€™s supporters club. Finally, and oh the most tragically, if anyone you play tries the offside trap, it will be mentioned, 30-40 times in the match. Now there€™s bad commentary and then there€™s just that. You think FIFA would put more effort in to something which is featured in every single match; but they just don€™t care.
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One time I met John Stamos on a plane - and he told me I was pretty.

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