consoles
Ok I admit it, this isn’t an exact science. There hasn’t been a vast multitude of surveys handed out to every gamer on Earth in order to create enough personality profiles to correctly identify the exact answer to the titular question, nor was there any sort of ink blot or IQ test involved in our ‘research’ for this topic. But hey, this is the internet, what did you expect?

Of course we have used a certain amount of thought in preparation to answer this age old question (read: week old question), so we’re not quite at the horoscope level of talking bollocks just yet. The only difference between this article and the more academic stuff is that instead of backing up our points with boring things like ‘facts’ and ‘knowledge’ we’ve used wild speculation and massive generalisations; because if it’s good enough for FOX News, it’s good enough for us!

There are five consoles included on this list and depending on the article’s popularity a part two may be written to cover some of the others, so if your favourite waste of time isn’t here then make sure to comment so we know what it is. Enjoy.

 

Nintendo Wii – The Noob

Nintendo Wii
The Wii is a console for two types of people: children and casuals. Most of you reading, simply by the determining factor that you’re interested enough in games to press on this article, probably don’t hold the Wii in very high favour. Those who like playing Wii aren’t full-time gamers, instead only picking up the control once or twice a week to jump around as a brightly coloured character for an hour or two before abandoning the endeavour to do something they actually enjoy.

If you are one of those people then chances are you’re either under 13 or a woman over 40, unaware or uninterested in the vast array of superior and more enjoyable games on other platforms. Perhaps one day you will become a more hardcore fan of the entertainment medium, but for now you probably prefer spending time with your family to the virtual world and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially as you’re probably not reading this paragraph anyway.

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This article was first posted on April 24, 2013