8 Tips For Surviving A Zombie Apocalypse

6. I'm Hungry. Should I Eat A Zombie?

One should never eat a Zombie. It's a good way to get infected. It's probably a good idea to avoid fresh meat as a whole. You can never be too sure. Personally this writer would just raid his parents pantry as it has enough food in there to last several lifetimes after his parents stocked up for the Y2K crisis that never happened. It's a safe assumption that they've probably prepared for a nuclear war, Zombie apocalypse and the second coming of Jesus too. You get the idea, right? Lots of food is a good thing. The last thing you want to do is find yourself having to go out and about to find something to stop the rumble in your tumble. Think to yourself: Where is my nearest Co-Op, Spa or Tesco? How safe is it? Is it likely to have been raided yet? Are my neighbours smart enough to have not been eaten yet? If you don't have access to a car then you better prey food is nearby. How about stealing a shopping trolley and turning it into a battering ram? You could do your weekly shop and smash any brain eaters out of the way before they get their cold, dead hands on any of the bargains. Don't forget you may also be shot by other living folk while you're out so be prepared for absolutely anything as soon as you step out of your front door - or back door if you're one of those annoying people that never unlock the front door and insist on all mail and visitors to come round the back. Another idea would be to grow your own vegetables. It's a great skill to learn and Zombies make awesome fertiliser.
 
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Master of Quack-Fu. Fishfinger Sandwich aficionado. Troll Hunter.