10 Cheesiest Glam Metal Songs Ever Written

Glitter and trauma.

By http://www.flickr.com/photos/edvill/ [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Glam Metal is one of the most popular Metal sub-genres of all time; it's managed to break the mainstream, deliver hits and consistently make its stars money. But it's also one of the most divisive inspiring hatred, mockery and cynicism in equal measure. Such is the enduring pull of populism.

It is often cited by Metal elitists as garbage; that the hair, makeup, and pyro-riddled stage-shows are little more than a cheap gimmick, designed to mask mediocrity. To be honest, with some of the songs released under the genre's banner over the years, it can occasionally be hard to disagree.

Of course this is not always the case, with the sub-genre delivering absolute classic songs like Motley Crue's "Kickstart My Heart" and Dokken's "Into The Fire", as well as genre-defining albums like Def Leppard's "Pyromania".

But alongside those high-points were some crushing lows that now feel particularly cheesy in retrospect. And you'll probably be surprised by how big some of the bands responsible for the dross were...

10. Alice Cooper - House Of Fire

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Alice Cooper is a key figure in the world of heavy music, and given his theatrical performances and penchant for stage make-up, you'd think he was inherently tied to the history of glam rock. In that respect, it was no surprise when the Hard Rock pioneer waded into the Glam Metal waters with his 1989 album Trash.

Now, the album did contain some classic songs like Poison, Bed of Nails, and Spark in the Dark, but the album’s third track, House Of Fire, is one of the most unbearable recordings that Mr Cooper has ever produced.

With lyrics like “we are building a house of fire every time we touch”, the song is a collection of heavy-handed sexual innuendo, and forced rhyming. What's worse is that it fails to get away with this as it lacks the charm of some of the albums other entries.

It's certainly held onto its cringe-factor over the years, but it is however very popular with some of Cooper’s more devout following for some ungodly reason, and this certainly explains why it remains a staple in his live set to this day.

 
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