Justin Bieber - Under the Mistletoe Review

My problem with Justin Bieber isn’t the fans or that he is a cheesy pop sensation but that he ought to be catchy and innocent because of it, like some of the best cheesy pop stars of previous era's.

rating: 0.5

Canadian teen heart throb Justin Bieber probably attracts far more mass hysteria than is necessary- both from his haters and from his fangirls. Just go to any YouTube video and see how much hate he attracts in the comment section of any song that ISN€™T by him: €˜the dislike bar is the length of Justin Bieber€™s penis€™ or €™43 people are Bieber fans€™. On the other end of the spectrum we have his fans, mostly teenage girls who see him as some sort of teenage Jesus. Behind all the mass hysteria it is easy to forget that Justin Bieber is an actual musician who releases actual music. His new album €˜Under The Mistletoe€™ starts with one of the original tracks on the album, an instantly forgettable acoustic love song declaring that the only thing he wants for Christmas is YOU. Yes, you. This isn€™t a cover of the Mariah Carey song though, that comes later. Another few boring ballads follow this. Of the original songs on the album, the best has to be the acapella version of €˜Fa La La€™ probably due to the presence of Boyz II Men on the track or maybe €˜Prayx€™ a track urging his listeners to pray to end all the troubles in the world. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JzPfy--Lcs As for the covers of Christmas songs, the first is a version of €˜Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire€™. This is when it starts to get genuinely bad. Duetting with Usher (yet again) for this track, Bieber and Usher attempt to harmonise the classic Christmas track. The main problem with it is the vast amount of auto tune used. Harmonising with auto tune just doesn€™t work. The next few cover tracks include €˜Santa Claus is Coming to Town€™. This is one of the best tracks on the album, simply because it is quite catchy. Next up is a duet with Mariah Carey herself for a cover of €˜All I Want for Christmas is You€™. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Vx3mNSmlQs The next track after this though, has to be a contender for one of the worst tracks I€™ve heard in a long while: A cover of Bing Crosby€™s €˜Drummer Boy€™. Duetting with Busta Rhymes, it fuses the autotuned pop of Bieber and the hip hop of Busta Rhymes, creating a far from traditional version of the classic track, featuring rapping (with lyrics such as €˜I€™m so tight I might go psycho€™ and €˜Gather round the mistletoe real quick€™) and worst of all, dubstep breakdowns. I can€™t put it into words how awful a rendition of such a classic song this is. The final cover on the album is a (relatively) faithful cover version of €˜Silent Night€™. I have nothing truly negative to say about this. Nothing positive, but nothing negative either. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy2XkixjmPg My problem with Justin Bieber isn€™t the fans or that he is a cheesy pop sensation. My problem is that he ought to be catchy and innocent, like some of the best cheesy pop stars. Yet the vast majority of original tracks on €˜Under the Mistletoe€™ are easily forgettable acoustic ballads and dodgy covers. It€™s not that Justin Bieber is offensively bad, and it€™s not even like I actively disliked his music (before I heard his cover of €˜Little Drummer Boy€™ anyway) but it had nothing that a classic Christmas record required. Think of all the great Christmas songs. Whether you love them or you hate them, they are all easily remembered and catchy; €˜Under the Mistletoe€™ has none of these features. Cheesy pop should not go in one ear and out the other. It should get stuck in your head, it should make you want to dance or sing along or hum. I can€™t say a single track on €˜Under the Misletoe€™ had such an effect. I wanted to like it. I honestly did. Justin Bieber's new album Under the Mistletoe is available to purchase from Monday.
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