6. A Freak Baguette Accident
Admittedly I found this bizarre statistic on a
forum and so I can't help but question its full authenticity, although I can't for the life of me imagine why someone would make this s**t up. Apparently, "17 people, in France alone, die each year from freak baguette accidents". Firstly, that's France "alone" implying that worldwide the deathtoll grows ever larger by the day. My next point is this: what the f**k are these people doing with baguettes that suddenly makes them so lethal? Slipping on a discarded baguette, that could be a potential killer. Choking to death while attempting an amusingly lurid genital simulation, there's potentially another. What could be worse than that on your death certificate? And can you imagine the conversation with the coroner? "How did this man die?", "Well, he was simulating oral sex with a baguette and it became lodged in his throat, choking him to death." "Hold on, that's too funny, I've got to tweet about this". So, next time you're snacking on a baguette think on; you could be holding a murderer in your hands.