10 Foolproof Steps To Failing Your New Year's Resolutions

It's the third week of January, and already reality's biting hard. It's cold, dark, and it won't stop raining, and you're pretty sure you overspent at Christmas, so you're living on the kind of budget that third world countries would pity. Nothing's going right for you, nothing at all. But all these things you can deal with €“ you've been cold before, you've seen dark before, and you've most certainly been rained on before. However, there's a special anguish out there that's unique to the second week of January, and that's knowing you're already failing your New Year's Resolutions. It seemed so easy just 13 days ago €“ half-cut and propped up on a bar, you resolved to take life by the balls. You'd finally write that novel, go to the gym, learn Spanish or just stop cooking meth in your mother's kitchen. The world was yours, dammit, and nothing could stop you. As I said though, reality bites hard: it's only January 13th, and you're not the future person drunk, past you expected you'd be. In fact, you're just as lazy as that guy, and at least he was having a good time. But how did you get here? That's an easy one €“ you went through the same process we all go through with New Year's Resolutions, beginning with soaring ambition and ending with crushing failure. What is that process? Well, read on and find out.