10. Send Him Back To Canada
It's the simplest, most gentle solution. Just give him back. There are groups of people online who're actively working to gather signatures to do just this. But wouldn't that just be like sending him home? There should be some more aggressive form of deportation. Maybe transplant him into Quebec so he's forced to live in a part of his home country that doesn't even speak his language. In fact, forcing him to have an entourage consisting entirely of Quebeckers (is that it?) would be fantastic. It'd likely introduce some culture and manners to an otherwise uncultured and unmannerly child. How many talented musicians have we gotten from Canada? Alanis Morisette, The Barenaked Ladies, Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, Michael Buble, I mean the list goes on and on. Yet unfortunately, we got stuck with the kid who rubs his fame in our face. So it would seem sending him back would likely be the least effective form of punishment since, thanks to the internet and his popularity, he'd just be living high on the hog out there, flying Usher out every other weekend to throw eggs at houses and lay down a few tracks here and there, and it'd get released globally regardless of where he's located. No one wants that. Alright, maybe this wasn't the best idea. Let's move on!