10 Things Only London Dungeon Workers Will Understand

There are two questions people always ask when I mention I once worked at the London Dungeon: "Wait, you worked at a dungeon? Like, a sex dungeon?" And, upon being informed that, no, I didn't used to have a secret life as a dominatrix (nor would I be likely to let them know quite so casually if I did), but in fact worked at one of the city's top tourist attractions: "Wow, that must've been amazing!" Well, yes, it was, in that I was frequently amazed by the things that happened there; from screaming exchange students grabbing their crotches at me to witnessing people's desperation to learn all about the horrible history of the capital on every single day of the year. Christmas Eve? Dungeon! Boxing Day? Dungeon! New Year's Day? Dungeon! The only day the place closed was on the 25th of December and I firmly believe people were knocking on those big wooden doors at the break of dawn, wondering why no one was there to wish them a horrible Christmas Day. Now, the Dungeon has since moved from its home of 39 years on Tooley Street to a shiny new location on the South Bank, but I'd bet good money the people working there are still discovering these things.