Has there been an invention has been so simultaneously loved and loathed as Facebook? Millions of users spend hour after wasted hour scrolling through reams of inane drivel to find just the slightest piece of entertainment from one of the few people they've added to their profile who would actually be counted as a real friend. Nobody actually knows why, but we always add our old classmates, even the knuckle-dragging homunculi who threw you into a nettle bush. But worse than that, we actually keep these people on our timeline, despite having no interest in how long it'll be before they get to go up for parole again, or what their kids are doing/eating/passing. We're hopelessly addicted to the thing which annoys us the most. So with that in mind, what follows are twelve deviants that've crawled out the addiction woodwork and made social media one hell of a grind.
13. The Wrong-Headed Insomniac
Insomnia is a terrible affliction, and definitely shouldn't be laughed at in any way, but some people just aren't doing it right. If you spend the entire day uploading statuses about how you're praying for a peaceful night's sleep, seeking out sympathisers (in the vain assumption that anyone AT ALL cares) and then as soon as your head hits the pillow, you take to Facebook to post about how you can't sleep, you're missing one of the key steps in relaxation. The reason you can't sleep is the high-powered miniature box of light, games and irresistible opportunities to snoop on people you work with/are related to. Just put the phone down - there is literally no value in sharing that status other than for someone to metaphorically massage your self-sustaining boo-boo.
