13 Things Only Tattoo Artists Will Understand

"Can I get a refund?"

Lionsgate

A butterfly on your shoulder, an inspirational quote on your forearm or perhaps a 1:1 scale portrait of Ainsley Harriott on your chest, everyone has their reasons for wanting a tattoo. Picking an artist out of the hundreds available and the styles of work they do can be a minefield in itself; one that can take weeks or months to plan.

After all, you wouldn't want something terrible, would you?

But what about the person holding that machine? What lengths do they go to, to ensure you're getting the best of their abilities? Have they been doing it long, and by the way, how much does a sleeve cost?

So, let's take a look at fifteen different queries, anecdotes and downright stupid questions that every artist puts up with:

13. When Someone Thinks HOME TATTOOING Is Legitimate Practice

Bleurgh. Just...no. There are so many reasons why not to indulge. Staphylococcus aureus being a big one.

Home tattooers, or "scratchers", may think wiping down the kitchen table with a bit of Cillit Bang creates a sterile environment, but it does not.

I mean, you wouldn't expect to have surgery outside, would you?

 
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Contributor

Tattooed. Rum drinker. Yet not a pirate. Full of useless film trivia, and occasional extra pair of hands in a fight (which he totally didn't start, by the way, and you can't prove anything).

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