18 Manliest Things To Do In Life

Men don't 'bake' or 'whisk' or 'prepare' food. We open a bottle of beer, napalm a dead animal and then eat the hell out of it.

Rudyard Kipling once wrote that if you can bet all your winnings on one game, lose it all and never tell anyone about it then you'll be a man. Far be it from me to dispute the logic of keeping a gambling addiction (and the losses incurred) a secret but I guess it shows how times have changed. In an age where it's not uncommon to see men having an asexual orgasm when they gain a new follower on Twitter or talking about their skincare regime over a de-caff chocolate macciato, it appears we may have forgotten what it means to be man in today's metrosexual age. When was the last time you did something and thought to yourself; Quint from Jaws would be proud of that. Well that time is fast approaching so put down that cup of peppermint tea, turn off 'Four Weddings' and get ready to man-up. Join us for a look at the 18 manliest things to do in life, some serious, others less so but all more masculine than Lee Marvin's corpse riding a bull straight into the gates of Hell....

18. Move Out

The first rule of being a man is you have to stand on your two feet and not be a burden to anyone so after recent reports stating that record numbers of young men still live at home the manliest thing we can all do is move out. Yes, you€™ll have to look after yourself and yes, that all sucks major league nuggets but look on the bright side; the longer you live at home, the greater the chance you€™ll come home early one night and find some unwanted friend of your mothers taking up residency on the sofa. She gave birth to you, she fed you and she clothed you so do her a favour; man up and get out!

17. Actually, You Know, Like, Talk To A Girl€

Talktogirl Gif There you are, about to order your usual from the local Starbucks when you spy a gorgeous girl . You channel your inner Ryan Gosling, confidently stride over and charm her into bed. Easy right? Well, actually no. These days guys aren€™t even likely to see the girl in the first place because they€™ve got their heads buried in an iPhone or iPad or iDon€™t-Know-What. Being a man is about being confident and relaxed about yourself so prove it. Put the devices away, mosey on over and say hi. Who knows where it will lead€ €if it leads to court on a harassment charge don€™t blame us though.

16. Investigate That Noise Outside

You know how it is. You're asleep having a wonderful dream when you're woken by your girlfriend saying she heard something outside. 'Cats' you hiss with one eye still closed '...or zombies' she whispers. The easy thing to do is ignore your girlfriend and go back to sleep. The manlier thing to do though is make your girlfriend feel safe so get up, get dressed and go investigate. Just make sure to take two things with you; a glass of water (to be thrown over any cats) and a cricket bat (for any undead).
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Zac Efron
 
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Contributor

Writer from Cardiff. Fan of all rebels, rogues and rascals.