18 Problems Only Pale People Will Understand

"What!? No I'm not ill, that's just my face"

IFC Original ProductionsIFC Original ProductionsAh, the sun, that beautiful bright fireball in the the sky. Everyone loves the sun, right? It's warm, it gives light, it helps the plants grow - y'know, the whole 'keeping the planet alive' thing. For millions of years the sun has been a friend to all who step out into its nurturing caress - all except us naturally pale-skinned folks, that is. While others frolic in the sun's rays, enjoying its warm, welcoming glow, easily-burnt pale people are forced to take refuge behind layers of creams, clothes, and even walls, desperately striving to avoid the latent cruelty of daylight. For the pale, the sun is not the brilliant source of life and love that it might seem to be; rather, it is a great pretender, offering a gesture of kindness whilst simultaneously twisting a knife into one's back. But the sun is not the only false friend of the pale. In fact, it is responsible for only a few of the many struggles faced by the members of the pale population every single day of their lives. Rather, problems are flung at The Pale from all facets of life: industries, events, other human beings, and even the workings of one's own body, all can prove to be just as treacherous as that monstrous, flaming orb that looms over the world. So, if you're one of those for whom the sunlit world is a danger, know that you're not alone in your struggles. Pale-skinned people of the world, unite!

18. People Constantly Ask If You're Ill

Buena Vista DistributionBuena Vista DistributionNo, not ill; that's just my face. And since when does pale skin equate poor health? Just because a person isn't glowing as if they've absorbed the rays of the sun itself doesn't meant they're on death's door. It's absolutely infuriating to have people concernedly come up to you and ask if you're feeling quite alright, do you need some water, or would you like to sit down when you're actually completely healthy, just not up to the standard of tan that modern society seems to expect. Green skin? Covered in boils? Sure, probably sick. Just your everyday pale? Thanks for your concern but NOPE.

17. Outdoor Events Are Pretty Much Off-Limits

Columbia PicturesColumbia PicturesUnless you want to legitimately bathe in sunscreen, wear the world's largest hat, or spend your afternoon darting from shady spot to shadier spot, things like music festivals, carnivals, and so on are more hassle than anything else. Some people might see it as a fun afternoon in the great and glorious outdoors; for pale people, it's more like The Hunger Games, except the sun is the only other competitor and it WILL win, no matter how thick your coating of SPF 100 is. If you do dare to venture on excursion in the open, you're a brave soul. You might return home as red as a lobster, but you're a brave, brave soul.

16. It Is Impossible To Hide A Blush

Paramount PicturesParamount PicturesWhen it comes to hiding blushes, tan people have a massive advantage: their skin tone keeps the colour from showing too brightly. Pale people, however, don't have that luxury. Their faces take on a shocking shade of red whenever they feel embarrassed, flustered, shy, happy, or, really, any other emotion. And there is no way to hide it short of shoving your face into the nearest cushion, pulling on a mask, or running from the room entirely. Easy-blushers have to endure years of "S/he's blushing!" and "Hahaha, I made you blush," which, naturally, makes anyone do it even more. As if the fact that your face is radiating heat and neon red light isn't embarrassing enough.
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College kid with an affinity for sarcasm and sleeping too much.