Where there is wine, there is hope. It speaks to us on a spiritual level, is there for us when we get home after a rough day, and a cheap bottle of plonk can turn us into an aristocratic philosopher in a matter of minutes. There's no denying the emotional bond that lies between our lips and a glass of Sangiovese. To have and to hold, for richer, for poorer; we'll love and honour it, until death do us part. And that may not be for some time, since wine drinkers have a 34% lower mortality rate than beer or spirit drinkers. Pass the Shiraz! As with anything in excess, it comes with highs and lows: like turning up to work after three-quarters of a bottle the night before and feeling like there's a tennis ball stuck in your brain. There's also the serious slurring of words that fall from your mouth after several glasses of Merlot, and the drowsiness that ensues if you guzzle it before a night out. But, we deal. After all, this is Jesus juice. No one is judging you when you drink wine. It's humble artisan-crafted ways are etched in history, and offering a glass can be the ultimate gesture of hospitality. Just look back at photographs of Marilyn Monroe and James Dean, glass in hand, and you'll see they look damn classy. We just love how sophisticated it makes us look, or at least that's what we tell ourselves as we uncork the second bottle of the evening. Spilling a full glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon - it's heartbreaking. The Grape Depression, some might say. (Okay, that was terrible.) It's not good to keep things bottled up (again, apologies), so if you experience any of these intense emotions when dealing with our old friend vino, it's time to admit it... the love affair is real.
21. You Get Butterflies In Your Stomach When You Hear That 'Glug'
Pyjamas on, corkscrew out. Aaaaand relax. Who needs yoga?
20. You Used To Question Whether It Was Acceptable To Drink Before 5pm, Now You're Just Like
