30 Painfully Real Signs You've Been Single For Too Long

Forever alone.

Single, taken, who cares? Right? Right, guys? You€™re currently swimming the gargantuan pool of Singletons: either sampling the colourful variants of our species, simply having a good old splash on your own, or puzzled as to why you€™re yet to be cast out.

Do not be puzzled, dear spouseless one. There€™s plenty of reasons why you€™re still a lone ranger - you probably just live in the ugly area of town, like a grand swan in a city of ducklings; or you've been misremembering your mobile number all your life, which totally explains those people that never called you back. Your dashing looks are obviously intimidatingly alluring, and OkCupid just can't convey your gleaming personality. Whatever the reasons, you've been single for quite some time now. Very, very single.

If it makes you feel any better, more than half of America are in the same boat; with a 37% increase in spouseless people from 1976. Don't worry, you might not be dying alone just yet... but you're close. Here are the crucial signs your singleness had reached whole new levels...

Contributor
Contributor

Human woman. Content Manager at What Culture. Lover of many "ologies", punk rock and cats. My god is Ilúvatar. Follow me on Twitter: @nina_cresswell