7. The Gym Bunny
This is a male or female individual who, when you spot them, terrifies you. They are fit, toned and, usually, incredibly good-looking. Also, they know the rules of the game. Like any wild animal, they prey on the weak and, if you are wearing a grey T-Shirt and shorts (a massive no-no for sweat highlights) and are huffing and puffing away on the treadmill, they will spot you from fifty yards. They will sidle up to the machine next to you and make some preliminary stretches to show you that they know what they are doing. You know they are they are there before you even see them because they smell of moisturiser and success. Then, they will stand next to you on their treadmill, check out your speed setting of 'seven' (for 'sooo slow') and immediately hit 'fifteen' (for 'flipping fast') and off they go. The Gym Bunny works on a similar principal in all aspects of their life. When out in nightclubs, they will surround themselves with people who are less attractive and humorous than they are. In the workplace, they will deliberately sidle up to the weak so that their contribution looks greater. They are a dangerous beast because, essentially, they are what we want to become at the gym. Fit, handsome and intelligent. The difference is, they spend so much time moisturising and ironing their gym kit that they very rarely see day-light so can be defeated by outdoor runs where, you know, you have to sweat and that. Perhaps most terrifying though is that they could be any age and so don't be surprised if you are joined at the treadmills by someone three times your age who promptly humiliates you.